"Do not fear for what

needs to be lost."


Lost Saturday, January 14, 2017Leave a comment


"What am I doing with my life?"

The biggest question people tend to ask themselves. For the first time in my life, I lost the capability to find that answer. I used to know what I want and I would always believe in it no matter how impossible it seems but recently, I just feel like my dream seems so far away. I still believe that I can achieve it but these days are just hopeless to me. I lost my will to smile. Nothing much in my life is going on and that is a problem to me. When the people around you do not even trust you and the people you once knew so much are strangers now. What more can you expect from this heartrending world? Maybe I was putting my heart out there too much. I tried to help others so much that sometimes I tend to forget about myself. What seemed impossible to me is now happening; I forgot to help myself. 


For the things that happened last year, I have reached a point in my life where I give up on people who aren't making me happy anymore. I gave up trying to make the people around me contented. Tried my best to be there for them but never appreciated. Tired of caring for those who does not care back. Tired of the dramas, the lies, the heart-cold betrayals and the resentment from society. I stopped paying attention to those people and pull all the attention only to me. I let go of people who were slowly killing my happiness. The people who poisoned me and turned me into a devil. Why choose to care for people who does not trust you with their secrets when you trust them with your heart? Why care for people who does not learn to appreciate ? Why bother hurting yourself for people who only cares bout themselves? As a song goes, "friends can break your heart too". It is undeniably true and it hurts as much as anything else but maybe I need to learn that not everyone is meant to stay in my life. They are there to just teach me a lesson. One thing for sure is that, do not blame me if I am heartless because I was forced to. I stopped looking for happiness from other people because I know I should make a paradise out of myself. I guess it is time I learn to love myself.




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