Tears.

Sunday, November 9, 2014

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" Love? It kills your heart, it steals your soul. "





" We hide behind a fake smile to mask the pain but sometimes we wish someone would look close enough and see how broken we really are on the inside. "

I put my heart and mind, everything to be 'good enough' for this world. I don't know if I'll ever be good enough for the world cause it seems like I will never belong here. Just like how an alien that falls into Earth. Some of us might never be able to accept that there's other living things in the Universe besides us. Some of us dislike changes or someone that is different from everyone. People tend to feel more safe with what they already have rather than accepting the new things in their life even if it's good or bad. Truth is, I don't know what I am doing anymore. I'm lost in my own very pathetic thoughts.

" I am constantly torn between wanting to fix myself and wanting to destroy myself. "


                           









I'm always afraid of opening up my heart to people. I always hide my feelings, my inner-thoughts. I just don't want to be that pathetic girl who cries and whines all the time though I feel like I'm getting there already. I'm just afraid if I open up my inner-self, you might not be able to take it anymore. I'm afraid of judgement. Maybe I care too much about what people think. I don't have the self confidence to believe in myself. You don't know how it's like to feel this insecure. It's like I never even existed in this world and that if I was gone, things would just be the same. Invisible. I guess that it's better to be depressed by yourself rather than dragging someone along with you. Sharing happiness is encourageable but however, sadness, I don't think it's meant to be shared. Only meant to be kept inside that box in your heart. Take the keys, lock it. Never let it out.

" How much pain would you endure for the one you love? " 

Apparently, a lot. We would literally do anything for the one we love to be happy. For him to smile or laugh even if you were hurting. You just want him to be happy. Maybe I'm just over sensitive. Maybe I'm an asshole. But I can't deny the fact that once I start to grow feelings towards someone, it is incredibly hard to let go of. If I could, I would take all your pain away and replace it with my happiness. I don't know if you feel the same but I would give you my world in exchange of you living a happy life. I won't say no to me being an idiot and a stubborn person. Well, hell no one is really perfect until you fall in love. Everyone has their own flaws. It's just the matter of accepting or changing it. In this case, fixing it was the choice. Though I'm hurting on the inside. I smile, I laugh. Because I love you that much.

" Love means letting go of our fears, prejudices, egos and conditions. "

My tears, they mean nothing to you.