“Memories warm you up from the inside. But they also tear you apart.”
I would say that I'm in pain but I don't even know what I'm feeling anymore. Broken-Hearted? I wonder if this word still applies to what I'm feeling now. Miserable? Lonely? Depressed? Maybe it's all of them. It's not that I can't laugh or be wreathed in smiles. It's that whenever I feel like the happiest kid alive, things will eventually turn into a disaster. It's like getting your hopes up so high above the sky then it drops to the bottom of the ocean. Or maybe it's like going back to the sad reality after watching an amazing movie? And you're stuck here, in this desolation. You know that feeling when you see someone from your past that has hurt you deeply? It feels as if a thousand needles are in your heart. It kills you but not enough to make you die. You start having flashbacks of your bitter-sweet past. It's like time is moving backwards instead. Or it just slows down for a moment. You began to recall those lovely memories that you've had with that certain individual. But then, it hit you. Things have changed. It'll never be the same. No matter how much we pray, hope or even wish for it to be the same again. The past can never be removed. It's just funny how people always say let bygones be bygones. Ofcz it is much easier to say than do. Sometimes we find it hard to move on because we've mindset this, " Why would I want to let go of the one thing that makes me happy? " Right? " The worst memories stick with us while the nice ones always seem to slip through your fingers " It literally feels like I'm living in a dead corpse. Does appearance really matters that much? I've asked this a thousand times. Someone I know answered " No, personality matters but if she's pretty then, it's a bonus. " But how true is that? Do you even know how it is, being invisible to others? "I guess anyone that's been hurt before will know how it feels. Having this fear of falling in love. Giving someone the power to hurt you but trusting them not to. It's just too risky. Who would want to go back to the late night tears? Waking up in the morning with swollen eyes. Dreaming of the person who broke your precious heart. Feeling as if that hole in your heart will always remain. If miracles do happen, then maybe all this misery will be gone someday. But if you did find that special someone, never let them go no matter what. Chances like that doesn't always happen. ♪ Putting my defences up, 'cause I don't wanna fall in love. If ever did that, I think I'd have a heart attack. ♫ Demi Lovato - Heart Attack ♥
